Journal Entry
My coworker Jackson Scott and I are close friends. We just played a few holes tonight. He hit some great shorts as did I. I chipped in my golf ball twenty yards off the green on twelve and celebrated. He had some brilliant holes. I believe in him and his golf skill encouraging him to continue practicing. He’s got the talent, he needs the discipline. He’s a composed golfer, in fact we both are rarely swearing after we hit an errant shot.
I appreciate his company. We laugh together. We confide in each other. We listen to music together. We spent most the day together. Mowing turf side by side. He mows the collars. I mow the greens. I compliment him acknowledging his concentrated effort when he fixes ball marks. We don’t leave a stone unturned and we take a lot of pride in how hard we work. We wake up at the crack of dawn and labor in 90 degree heat. We get poison ivy. We have to deal with uncomfortable coworkers who make lewd remarks and discolored jokes. But to have a friend who is by my side and calls me, “brother”, well that is a gift and our friendship I cherish.
I have two more weeks left. Two more weeks at Myopia. Part of me wants to leave. Leave the stress, the tiredness, and the discipline. Those things never truly leave, they just leave by their context. I want to remain as I am. I want to be honest in the little things. If I am alone on a green and I see a leaf or a ball mark I will attend to amend them. If I break a piece of equipment I will confess what I’ve done to see that it is properly fixed. It’s a difficult job that very few can appreciate but knowing I’ve got my family’s support is incredible. I hope God I can be honest with others too and not just with myself. I want to help others in service to you God. You care for me and I want to show others that you care for them too.
My thoughts are scrambled and I’m not sure what I want to say. I love studying spanish. This is something that gives me great joy: to discover a new word, expression, song, and tv show. I’ve recently started watching Money Heist on Netflix and use the subtitles to practice my listening comprehension. I’ll watch the show with my journal at hand to capture new words and understand them in their context. Within the past few months, particularly of late, I’ve begun to envision myself of what life in Spain would entail: the simple chores of the day like saying good morning to a neighbor or conversing with a cashier in a grocery store. I am excited for the adventure that awaits me. It is a peaceful time in my life. Though I’ve been constantly at work there is the deep sense of joy that pervades my days. Perhaps it is the solace that comes with seeing the sunrise and sunset every day and being in tune with nature’s rhythm. I live the day by feeling the day. I feel the sun’s heat on my neck, the dew from the morning grass soaks my shoes, the wind which pushes the swallows as they dive cools my forehead, and I am in love with life.
This morning in the sunrise I thought of CJ my friend who passed away recently in a car accident. I thought of him and in my sadness I reached out to him and told him that you’re now with God and his glory. That you are soaring with angels and dancing in celestial bliss. Sunlight filtered down like spotlights through grey clouds onto the earth and perhaps CJ was telling me that he was ok. I drive extra carefully. I think back to when we were on camping trips together, when we were away at summer camp, our time in boyscouts doesn’t seem to long ago. I think of when we played baseball together. I become sad. I return to my mower. Thankful to breathe, thankful despite how tired I am and how burned my ears our to look over the first hole at the entirety of the course. As if I was overlooking the entirety of my life. Sophomore year lay down just ahead on the second hole. Spain well that’s over by the forth hole. I think of what fortune this perspective gives me and I thank God. I pray for CJ’s family as I mow the last few passes.
